What Do You Say?

What do you say,

When you share your testimony,

And all the amazing ways Gods provided for you,

And it moves something deep down inside of someone.

And they want this relationship that you have,

So you lead them in a prayer to invite Jesus into their lives.

And when you finish the tears are streaming down their cheeks,

And they look up and ask you,

“Now I’m a Christian

and yesterday I was a prostitute

how should I feed my family now?”

Sickness and chills invades my body

as I become thankful that the question is not directed at me.

I start wondering what it would be like to have nothing.

No family,

no friends,

no food,

no home,

no water,

and no place to sleep.

How would my faith look then.

I would hope it would be stronger.

So often I feel like I am to comfortable for my own good.

My faith and relationship with Jesus are convenient.

When I want food I get food,

When I want water I walk to the tap

and turn on an endless supply of drinking water,

when we want to go to sleep

I climb into my nice bed in my nice house/apartment.

So when someone asks me where their food is going to come from now that they are a Christian I become speechless.

Because well I have never had to trust God to provide my food.

I have never had to trust God to provide shelter or water.

So how can I come and say well just have faith that God will provide, when I, myself, don’t have this kind of faith.

So here is where my journey of seeking began.

Late last week, in a rundown hospital,

On the other side of town,

standing in a small room,

with eight women,

sharing testimonies,

and sharing the gospel,

to these women

who were prisoners in this hospital

because they couldn’t pay their bills.

I think to myself, How am I okay with this?

People being held against their will

because of the poverty they were born into.

Especially as a Christians?

The book I am reading right now is called,

Super Natural Ways of Royalty,

they talk about one translation of Christians being “little Christ’s”.

I really liked this because it makes me think of ducks.

Bear with me for a second,

so when a duck has baby chicks or “little ducks”

the chicks will do everything the Mama duck does

and they mimic it exactly the way they see it done

by the Mama.

So often I feel like we miss our mimic years

of being a Christian and just let everyone around us

assume we are adult ducks and that we have been

walking this walk for a long time.

Pride begins to consume me

whenever I didn’t understand something

and make me think that any question I ask

would be dumb because I should know that by now.

But I think sometime the making disciples step gets skipped.

The being baby ducks get jumped right over

the second the service is over.

We get stuck in a false step of making converts.

One example of this is when churches

have everyone close their eyes

and bow their heads

and with all the eyes close

raise your hand if you want to except Jesus. . .

How are we suppose to disciple

and pray for new believers

if we don’t know who they are.

Its not an embarrassing thing to believe in Christ!

We need to get out of this mindset

that we are bring shame to the person

when we are leading them Christ

when in reality leading in a biblical way

will be the BEST decision of their lives!!!

They are getting to be part of the royal family!!

Who doesn’t want to understand their royalty

that they are coming into when they open this free gift

God has given us through Jesus Christ!!!

And with that the authority we have in Jesus Christ!!!

Sometimes I wonder if growing up as a Christian in America if we get a  false image of what Christ bride really is suppose to look like.

“Its not bricks and buildings its all of Gods people,

Men, Women, And Children”

And if it was about the people then hurts and struggles wouldn’t be hidden but combated with coming together as a body and standing for each other in prayer and support. 

We wouldn’t have hospitals in Africa that keep people captive.

We wouldn’t have kids going to school hungry in America because single parents have lost their jobs or don’t make enough money.

We would be stepping in that gap.

I don’t feel like I became a “little Christ” until this past year.

And I didn’t understand who I truly belong to until this past month.

So if I can live for 22 years and be born into a Christian family and not fully understand my faith until I’m 23 it makes me extremely worried for people who have been lead to Christ but are never discipled.

I think I would feel a bit lost if I went to a church or someone came to my house and lead me to Christ but then left me. Its like having a baby and hoping it will survive on its own with no milk. Just leaving it there no one to care for it, feed it, or even to teach it to walk when its ready.

How will that baby survive??

Hebrews talks about this when it is referring to Christians who have been saved for a long time but never grew. Always stayed the same.

You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. For someone who lives on milk is still and infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill  to recognize the difference between right and wrong. (Hebrews 5:12-14)

This scripture was spoken to me when I first came to YWAM.

We were told to pray and ask God

if their was anything he wanted to tell us.

As I sat quietly I waited and then Hebrews 5:11 came to mind but I wasn’t sure what verse it was so I looked it up.

Ouch. But it was truth.

And sometimes I think things hurt so much more

when you know there is truth to them.

And when I read this I knew something needed to change.

I want to become someone who could disciple others

not be stuck and only be feed on what others give me.

So I hit my knees and prayed that I was willing to surrender me, in order to become more like Him.

I wanted to be able to feed myself

as well as walk with new believers.

I really felt like God put it on my heart

that I needed to spend consistent time with him,

everyday, like a date that I wouldn’t miss for the world.

And the only time when it would be quiet was early morning,

I am a morning person and all

just not a before the sun wakes up early person.

But I felt like He was speaking to me that it need to be 5:30 am.

I knew excuses and whining would just get me right back where I was now and I knew I wanted to change.

So I set my alarm

and started my journey of building a relationship

and getting out of this religion business I had been in.

At first it was hard, really hard,

I loved my sleep and our days were long so I needed my sleep.

But the more I hungered for those early morning dates,

the more I was willing to go to bed earlier.

My days are better because I my eyes are focused on above.

I’m learning what it means in Matthew when he says,

All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and know, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

(Matthew 28:18-20)

While learning to understand this I didn’t get the impression

that there is a, well, if you feel like making disciples in all nations

then I guess it’s a good idea, no, there is no plan B, we are to go.

Whether its first to our neighbors house then to our coworkers and then to the nations we are commanded to go.

No we are plan A and we are it.

This is a bit overwhelming but exciting at the same time.

But first I had to understand Gods character better.

So that I could understand that its not out of fear that I’m making disciples but out of genuine love and awe of what he did for me.

Out of our love and reverence for the Lord,

Then I could learn to go and make disciples!

I am coming to understand that the more we walk it our faith, the stronger we become and with that the more grounded we feel.

When we understand the authority that we have in Christ we understand his power and then when we say to a new believer who was a prostitute yesterday that God cares so much for her that He is GOING to provide for her and that God clearly addresses this in Matthew when Matthew writes,

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food to drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds, they don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don’t work or make their clothes yet Solomen in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith? (Matthew 6:25-30)

I knew God was speaking to my heart,

I knew that he would provide for these women just like his word says he will but I think so often if I haven’t personally walked through something doubt comes over me and my pride blocks my vision out of fear of being wrong,.

Dear Heavenly Father, teach me to live in a way that I completely trust you. Teach me to not get comfortable but to really rely on you for all my needs. Write these truths on my heart so that when you need me to speak out boldly in your name doubt has no place in my life. Teach to meet not only physical needs but spiritual needs as well. Teach me to walk with people better and to become a better follower of you as well as leader to younger women. Thank you for your living word and these women that you brought us to so that through us they would know you. In Jesus name, Amen.

 P.s.- I'll be adding photos soon of this day!! I just have to get them from my leader :)